In the words of Frederick Douglas; “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”
How disheartening it can be when we think about the many stages and challenges of life we have to endure from the time of our birth until our death. I was talking to a young woman the other day, who is very close to me and I could see a mountain of discouragement and despair in her countenance. After leaving her presence I was haunted by a feeling of guilt that I somehow failed her, because I was unable to ease her physical pain and feelings of loneliness. In such a busy and fast moving world, we can hardly keep up some days with our own lives and issues, never mind someone else’s! Later that evening when my husband and I sat down to dinner, as we were praying, God’s conviction overwhelmed me to call this young lady sooner than later.
Following God’s lead I picked up the phone with slight apprehension that I might not say the right things or somehow offend this young women. But, God simply assured me to say and do nothing more than tell the truth and be humble and non judgmental in doing it. In reality all I really needed to do was look at the present stage in my own life and reflect, and not very deeply, at the stages which I’ve passed through. I was able to identify with the place I knew she was at from my own experiences. Unhindered by the truth I could remember that place and time in my own life. Empowering me to touch a place in her core that needed company and satisfaction.
You see, regardless of the stage or our station in life, we hanker for and grasp to get back some part of our former years. Likewise, we often agonize over the pending years with fear for time and things for which we are not guaranteed. Youth can be a fun, yet nasty little time in ones life. As I explained to my young friend, when we are children we dream and aspire to be “grown-up.” Playing with baby dolls and wearing dress-up clothes we pretend to be mommy’s and adult women running a home. Then as we run full bore to that fanciful destiny, we often find ourselves feeling overwhelmed, challenged and lonely. Straddling the bridge of adulthood and remorseful about an often hurried childhood can haunt many of our days, especially during child bearing and matrimonial years. Becoming a mother and wife is in and of itself a life altering experience. It is not only where two become one in marriage, but where the creation of more divides you again and again, depending on the number of children we have.
Our identities and how we identify with life itself, changes with each passing season we live. It’s when we feel we have nothing to hold tight to or part of something to go back to, like family or a home that we feel more overwhelmed by our circumstances. This is when I say; “Come to know God as quickly and as much as you can even if you have a road to home that you can still travel back to.” No one ever shared these insights or any positive advice during the hard chapters in my life story, which made it harder for me to come to know and trust God. You see regardless of who we know, what we experience or come to believe in this life, it is from God that we all came and to Him we will all return. God is our eternal parent through His Son, Jesus Christ.
Alas at 50 years old, I shared the struggles that this stage in my life can bring. Now years removed from child rearing, the loss of parents, aunts, uncles, cousins and a sibling, and not without contending with the pain and despair that is often present from my younger years. Now only the fading details divide time into sections and the hunger for what was is still never totally satisfied, but our walk through life goes on. But there is hope and peace of making through it all lies ahead with one truth; that none, no not one of us are ever walking this journey alone. Destiny is fair in her own way to all that draw the breath of life. Remembering that God created our human and mortal soul to experience all that matters with grace and courage which is only possible through His eternal love and provisions. As they say in AA; “One day at a time,” this statement is true for every living human. In the end I was able to offer this young lady the security of my love and a home to come to, even if it was only for a day or night.
In closing I would like to encourage everyone reading this to stop grasping and lamenting for what has been. Instead bask and steep in the moment of what is, look upward and outward and see your present circumstance in all its beauty and security. Remember that raising children, just like living life, is a hands on experience and the only book to guide us is the Bible. If your not sure about what its saying or how to apply it to your life, ask a pastor, a counselor or a humble and balance Christian friend. Unclench your tired sweaty hands from the things you struggle with and release them to the moment and to the hand of God. Be well, feel blessed and live in the moment of the day.
